Daisuke's Song
by fadedjae
Summary: A dark Kensuke told from Yamato's POV. Also contains Taito. Fair warning, this fic contains yaoi and attempted suicide. On a lighter note, this is the first fic of mine that uses the Japanese names. Um... yay for me?


I'm entering a contest! Yay for me! This is for Nemesi's Kensuke contest.  
  
This was just supposed to be a poem. I wrote that (and called it Daisuke's Song) and had a nice little image of him and Yamato singing it. But then my muses came and started bothering me. Arg! Muses!  
  
I apologize in advance for this fic. You can blame Daisuke, chibi Dai, a dragon, and a gryphon for it.  
  
  
~~~  
Daisuke had finished crying, and he pulled away, leaving my shirt stained with his salty tears. "It's okay Dai," I said for the hundredth time. "It'll all be okay."  
  
Daisuke was quiet for a long time. He still refused to look at me, and he had shoved his hands in his pockets. I could tell that he was trying to curl himself into a ball, and I reached out to touch him again, to give any comfort that I could.  
  
"I wrote a song."  
  
His words were so muffled that I was sure that I heard it wrong. I blinked a few times and tried to re-assess what he had just said. After coming to no satisfactory conclusion, I blinked a few more times. "You did what?"  
  
"I wrote a song. About it. About me. About Ken." Daisuke pulled a rumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. "I wrote a song."  
  
I took the paper, unfolding it. "Dai..."  
  
"Taichi said you write songs a lot. I mean, ones that you won't sing in concert. Songs about you and him." Daisuke paused and inhaled shakily. "He said that you wrote songs to get your feelings out."  
  
I glanced up sharply. I was going to have to have a chat with my little Taichi later. "Yes," I said stiffly, knowing that I had to help Daisuke, not steam over Tai's big mouth. "I did. And I still do."  
  
Daisuke finally raised his head. His brown eyes were wide and fearful, and droplets of tears still clung to his dark lashes. "I wrote that," he motioned to the sheet I clenched in my hands, "before I tried to... you know."  
  
I nodded, my eyes flickering down to his wrists. The bandages were a starch white, a contrast to Daisuke's golden tan skin. A horrible contrast. "It's okay, I understand."  
  
Daisuke murmured something incomprehensible. His fingers slid over the bandages again before turning into fists.  
  
I bit on the inside of my cheek. Damn Ken. Damn him for all of the pain he caused. My anger was indescribable, even to myself. It was a horrible loathing anger. My hands curled into fists too, and the paper I was holding whispered a complaint.  
  
I still hadn't read Daisuke's poem. Daisuke's song. I did want to. It was private. It was something that Daisuke did, something that he did before he tried to kill himself. He had wanted it to be the last remains of him, the last thing before he was gone forever.  
  
Fortunately, Taichi had found him. He had called for an ambulance, and Daisuke was rushed to the hospital. Then Taichi had called me, and I hurried over, Jun right behind me.  
  
On the way, Jun had told me how their parent's had left them for the week. She had spent the last few night's at a friend's and had left Daisuke alone. She hadn't known that Daisuke was depressed. That he would try anything so drastic.  
  
Later, Taichi and I had talked with Daisuke. He had clung to Taichi, crying out what had happened. He had gone to the Digiworld, gone to be with the Kaiser. Gone to be with Ken. Apparently, it had been happening for weeks. He was convinced that he was in love with Ken, but that the Kaiser would never love him back. That's why he had slit his wrists.  
  
Taichi and I had talked it over. We decided that as soon as the doctor's released him, he would come home with me.  
  
We had sent Jun on her way, back to her friend's house. She was too distressed to be any help.   
  
So, we took Dai back with me. Taichi had spent the first night over too. Originally, Dai was going to have my bed while Taichi and I slept on the floor. It hadn't worked out that way though, and we had all ended up sleeping together, Daisuke nestled between my boyfriend and me.  
  
Taichi eventually had to go home, but Daisuke stayed. I didn't mind, I wanted to help him anyway I could. And it was nice to have a little brother again. Daisuke filled my lonely hours, and my hatred for his Kaiser had grown.  
  
"Will you read it, Yamato?" Daisuke's voice was quiet and hopeful and it broke my heart.  
  
I still hadn't read Daisuke's song. I smoothed out the paper and took a deep breath.  
  
  
The door slams and breaks my heart  
I can see you walk away  
I crying now, my tears flow bloody  
I'm begging you to stay  
  
I hate it when you hate me  
I hate it when you leave  
I hate it when you don't touch me  
I hate it when I love you  
  
The night is soft and pounding  
My clock reads five to two  
My sheets are twisted and stained now  
I'm dumb and clueless, wondering what I can do  
  
I'm useless and I know it  
I'm ugly, torn and dripping  
My whole life depends on you  
And now my reality is slipping  
  
The moon is dead and fading  
The stars have long burnt away  
I still can't move my body  
As the night mutates to day  
  
I hate it when you hate me  
I hate it when you leave  
I hate it when you don't touch me  
I hate it when I love you  
  
I hate it  
I hate it  
I hate it  
I hate it  
I love you  
  
  
  
"Daisuke..."  
  
"I know," Daisuke sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair, "My poetry sucks. I can't rhyme, my stanza's are-"  
  
"Dai," I cut him off. "Just shut up." I pulled the boy into a tight hug and rocked him gently in my arms. "You're perfect, you know that Dai? You're perfect."  
  
"Then why doesn't Ken love me?" Dai was clinging to me again, and I could hear the sobs coming back into his voice.  
  
"He will someday, Dai. Trust me."  
  
"Are you sure?" He sounded like a lost little child. "How do you know?"  
  
"I just do," I said firmly. "And I promise that he will." I closed my eyes and rested my chin on his head. Daisuke was crying again, but I knew his tears would stop someday. "It's okay now, everything's okay."  
  
A soft rustle of sound disturbed the moment. I opened one eye, wondering where the sound had come from.  
  
Taichi stood in my door, a sad smile on his beautiful lips.  
  
Silently, he walked over to where Daisuke and I sat.   
  
Our eyes met and he nodded slowly, telling me that he understood. He sank to the floor and placed an arm around the trembling boy.  
  
We held on to one another, the three of us hanging on as if our lives depended on it. I wondered briefly if I was right. If everything would be okay.  
  
Taichi looked over Daisuke's head to smile at me, and in an instant, I knew that it would be.  
  
It would be all right. Everything would be all right.   
  
~~~  
  
If you thought that my muses were bad, wait until you meet Flair's!   
  
Thanks for reading! Have a nice day! ^^ 


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